dexjfc:

To be honest, I always thought you look more like The Thing than someone who could marry Jessica Alba.

image

Too bad I don’t find that insulting. 

(Source: wtftasha)

Survived a yoga class at gym today and I feel like Mr. Fantastic of the Fantastic Four.  

dexjfc:

Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, babe. Whatever you say. Now I’m starved. Do you know where I can get some tapas or something?

Do I look like a fucking tourist guide? Go fuck yourself and ask the motherfucking Google. 

(Source: wtftasha)

dexjfc:

Look on the bright side. Your crush actually talks to you and knows you exist. Unlike Chris Evans.

Shut up, I’m not crushing on you. Get a fucking grip. 

(Source: wtftasha)

dexjfc:

Do I sense a little jealousy now that you know I don’t just look at tits when people walk by? It’s fine if you do, it’s quite flattering actually. Thanks for the ego boost, T.

Why would I be jealous, geez. Don’t go ahead of yourself, Dexter. 

(Source: wtftasha)

dexjfc:

Don’t flatter yourself, babe. Why would I spend my precious time talking about you? Honestly. Wow, it’s not like I’m not starving here too. Good for you for being able to save money and not take a spin on Daddy’s credit card every damn day. Fuck, you really are oblivious. Isn’t it kind of obvious? I mean, it’s not exactly a secret.

Gosh, you’re such an ass. I shouldn’t even talk to you at first. Not at all and it’s not like that I care about it. 

(Source: wtftasha)

dexjfc:

Might be but it also means that I can get what I want without being a spoiled brat because hey, I’m independent. Then I’ll just cheers to that because you’d be the best mom in the whole fucking world. I don’t get you girls, man. This is why it’s great that I also like dicks.

Did you just call me spoiled brat? Wow, okay. F.Y.I, I don’t always beg for Daddy’s money, alright? I work my ass off, I don’t even eat dinner because I’m saving up for rent. Huh? How about that? You like — whoa, that’s a… shock. 

(Source: wtftasha)

dexjfc:

Waiting is for losers who can’t get shit. I may have been formulating a plan. Well, you’re not my mom so nothing you say really matters, now does it? Don’t give me that bull shit. How could one not eat dinner? It’s practically inhumane.

That defines how impatient you are, and impatient people are the worst kind of people. Oh, it’s not? Then, it’s all useless. What if I told you to keep going on your alcohol and cigars? I’m not your mom so nothing I say really matters. Not feeling particularly hungry, so. A bit peckish, but not really hungry. Trying to watch my figure by a new kind of dieting. 

(Source: wtftasha)

dexjfc:

31st of October is still a long way to go. What can I say- coffee and cigarettes are a borderlining alcoholic’s best friend. It is, but it’s still hell of a lot of fun. I can do anything I want as long as I look this good. Um, what did you have for dinner?

Not if you wait. You should really put them down, you know. I don’t care if you consider it as ‘fun’ or ‘exciting’ or ‘satisfying’. No, I haven’t eat dinner. Too lazy to cook and to order something. 

(Source: wtftasha)